My Stress busting at work techniques

Stress is my Achilles heal, if you have read my prior posts you will have gathered that already. From a young age I have had trouble handling pressured situations often due to a lack of confidence.

Others will struggle in a different way to myself. It could be general anxiety for an unexplained reason or deep depression due to bereavement and pure bad luck. From much of my own research I found such a broad range of illness and triggers people shouldn’t be pigeon holed together under the anxiety banner.

One thing is for sure we all suffer this debilitating experience of anxiety and depression in one form or another. I can only really comment on my own experiences and what I have found to be useful. So that is what I shall do!

My big trigger point was stressful situations emulating from work or the work place. It boils down to my inability to use the very powerful word NO. Often when my managers, supervisors or bosses wanted something done and within a certain timeframe I would put myself under immense pressure to achieve those goals.  I wouldn’t say I am or was a yes man but I sure didn’t like to say no or question suggested work targets.

Having worked for some pretty damn awful bosses this led me into a terribly stressful state, unable to switch off from work and having racing thoughts throughout many nights. I can’t just blame others for this either, I have been my own boss. That was my worse boss of all! Never allowing a moments down time or family time. I pushed myself harder than anyone should ever have to. Regularly working through the night and making 600 mile round trips.

I won’t bog this post down with my illness or what caused it, stress in the workplace is fairly common. If you have found your way to my blog chances are you already know about the symptoms and reasons.

Along with figuring out breathing exercises and relaxation techniques I have also realised the power of the word NO. Also that the confidence to use it can be empowering. 

When I say as an anxious or stressed person you need to remove the stressor from your life. I am not suggesting you leave your job or whatever else and hide away for eternity. Quite the opposite in fact! To beat stress you have to remove it and the only way to do that long term is to think differently about yourself and work.

The first skill I practised with this was fairly simple. I used to be given work tasks and timeframes a lot. Nothing unusual or wrong here but I did used to accept those tasks and instructions without first asking myself if it was realistic. After all we have been employed to do a job, we should know how long it should take and how likely it is to be a success. The result was I constantly stressed about unachievable goals set by management and even myself.

Now the first thing I do is analyse each task I am confronted with. Treat it as a detached straightforward question removing the emotion of wanting to please everyone. So if a report is needed within 48 hours my first thought isn’t oh my god I am going to have to work through the night or my boss will fire me. It is more like Yes or No that is or isn’t possible. If it clearly isn’t I would then make clear to my boss or myself confidently! That if the goal was to be achieved I would need assistance or a longer timeframe. If you approach yourself and your boss confidently and express why it’s not possible you will find like me that they respect it.

No is a powerful word and it shouldn’t be feared. Once you express your thoughts on work tasks clearly people can’t argue with it. They either have to allow more time or support your task in other ways. The same principle applies to clients and customers. If you are honest and explain why things can’t be done quite how they would like often they appreciate the honesty and take on board a professional opinion.

So I went from worrying about pleasing everyone to using unemotional straightforward analysis. This was the first step to remove stress from my life. I had accepted what I could or couldn’t achieve and set a boundary to use right at the start.

The other big thing I did was enabling a switching off process from work. It started with a simple tidy of my desk at the end of day, or cleaning up the desktop on my computer. I would close my emails down, turn my desk phone off and take 10 minutes to tidy up! Sounds mad I know but it really worked. I stopped thinking about project x or y and concentrated on getting my desk ready to start the next day. Once I had left my desk I left my work with it, it took a lot of practice but now I can pretty much leave work and in be out of work mode within 10 minutes.

This was a revolution to me, I had time to think about activities with my family. Real free mind time to enjoy books or movies. I was no longer constantly distracted with lingering thoughts about work or projects.

I started small with the word NO, I remember the first time actually that I put this into practice. My boss wanted a demonstration unit getting ready for the next morning. He asked me with about 10 minutes of my working day left. 

The old me would have jumped through hoops and stayed back 6 hours to finish it. But I found myself uttering the words sorry boss but that just isn’t realistic in the timeframe. We need a better plan to achieve what you want. I then suggested we either get several people to help or delay the presentation in the morning by a few hours to make things happen. I was stunned by the fact he immediately agreed with me that is was un realistic and he offered to help himself and get 2 others to join in the following morning and start things off a little later. He had listened and valued what I had to say.

I am not suggesting anyone becomes a trouble maker, you don’t need to do that. After all when jobs are on the line you don’t want that tag. But when you express your professional opinion and ask for things to be done a little differently people will listen. It doesn’t always have to be yes sir! Well not in my experience.

Anyhow that is just my rambling thoughts on how confidence to say NO and be firm in the workplace can reduce stress. Often the most stressed are the ones who care the most. Also find a way to switch off from work like a physical switch if you like. Find a routine and stick with it.